Setting Goals With Kids
Whether it’s a new year, a new month, or the day-to-day is just getting stale, setting goals is a great way to get a fresh perspective. Or, at least, it sounds like a good idea.
For some, the idea incites a near-allergic reaction—how much work is this going to be? Does it involve eating more green things, and is it safe for kids?
The surest way to grow and get stronger in any area of our lives is to aim for the next step. Creating benchmarks for ourselves is a great life skill—not only for us personally, but to model for our children as well.
The good news is that goals don’t have to be hairy, scary, or mysterious. Here are a few tips to keep in mind to make the process a win, as well as a great (free!) handout for making goal setting easy.
1. Be specific. When I taught my high school students about short and long term goals, some might write “I want to read more books” as their goal. While it sounds like a great benchmark, it is one destined for disappointment. Why? Because it isn’t something they could measure—they could neither succeed at it nor fail. Instead, I encouraged them to be specific about their expectations and to include a finish line as well. For example, in response, one student wrote “I want to read two books that aren’t for school this semester.” That statement is measurable both in the specifics of the number and type of books as well as when she wanted to complete them. It was a great goal for her because it would be obvious by the end of the semester whether or not she had met her aim—and she could celebrate once she crossed that finish line.
2. Be reasonable. Wouldn’t it be great to become fluent in a new language in one year? Sure. But, on the scale of setting goals, that’s a +3. If your goal is truly to be fluent, fantastic—but break it down into reasonable chunks of multiple +1 steps. Given your responsibilities and workload, what can you realistically accomplish this year? The best way to reach a big, long term goal is to turn it into multiple short term goals.
3. Be gracious to yourself. Failure happens. Sometimes we set super high goals for ourselves that have us reaching for the stars—and that’s great! Other times our goals rely on the decisions of others that are beyond our control—but, that doesn’t mean we don’t try. If by aiming high I miss the mark, I am still farther towards my goal (and, likely, stronger for trying) than if I hadn’t tried at all. Is it disappointing to miss my goal? Absolutely. So, I take a moment to let myself feel disappointed and, when I am ready, jot down a few notes about what I learned and then rebuild new goals from there. Teaching our children to fail is one of the best lessons we can teach them because at some point in life, all of us fail—and, life still goes on.
4. Be creative. There are lots of fun ways to stretch ourselves beyond green smoothies and reading lists. What do you want to learn this year—how to change the oil in your car or make handmade pasta? What do you want to try this semester—just as an experiment, not necessarily mastery—learning how to white water kayak or crochet? What do you want to finish this month—that nagging scrapbook or a year’s worth of math by March? What do you want to see this summer—a Bollywood movie, an old friend, or a sunrise? Setting goals is a fun way to put color into our lives, step off the treadmill of the mundane, and develop joy.
So, grab this handout, sit down with your family, and have fun setting goals together.
Happy dreaming.